on being snubbed

OK, i realize i might have a slight bias when i think that i happen to be kind of fun and interesting to talk to, and i also realize i might be overly optimistic (or pathologically extroverted) when i think that other people where i work who have similar professional interests to mine, and who are around my age, might be likewise fun and interesting to talk to.

it is possible that neither of these is true, that i am BO-ring and so are they. however, however, however. i cannot fathom what there is to be gained from obviously and deliberately snubbing me. hmm, perhaps i will do a quick cost-benefit analysis of acknowledging my presence (both on email and physically, in the hall. the hall of academe, that is).

costs/risks: a couple of minutes; being annoyed; your reputation in case i am a total loser and everyone knows it; me thinking you are desperate because you are talking to a new person; people thinking you actually like being here when you don't; people thinking you think you belong here when you know you are a lot better than this place; stalking, in case i am creepy.

potential benefits: talking to a fun and interesting person; solidarity among colleagues; not getting blogged about; not getting reputation for being an idiot who thinks he's better than this place but actually has no manners or character and so actually is not good enough for anywhere; maybe, just maybe, i could do you a favor someday; maybe, just maybe, for some reason you will *have* to talk to me and you might not want me to snub you then; it actually makes you happier to be nice to others--you are unhappy because you are an asshole, rather than vice-versa; manners, perhaps ironically, are actually ideal ways to not have to interact with people and all their stupid annoying crap and substance.

huh. it might actually be a wash. though the risks seem less likely to become actualized than the potential benefits. the bottom line is that you (both of you) have alienated one of your peers (that's right, i have the audacity to think of myself as your peer, just because we are of the same rank and work at the same institution--the nerve!), and i hope for your sake that never comes back to bite you. but i can't promise it won't.