reunion trip I: thessalonians

my plane ticket for my high school reunion was free. which meant that it was a paper ticket, and i was warned several times to keep track of it and not lose it, because i needed to show this piece of paper to get on the plane. don't lose it! they said. you're used to e-tickets, they said. but this is different, they said. so when i predictably lost it, i feared, but also hoped, that i wouldn't be able to make it to my reunion.

so when i got to the airport and just slid my credit card in like normal and the maching gave me my boarding passes just like normal, i was dissappointed.

lesson # 1: that paper ticket garbage was a lie. airlines lie.

disappointment, for some reason, turned quickly to dread, which also travels under the alias anxiety. all of a sudden i really really really didn't want to go. chad pointed out that of all things, a class reunion seemed well-tailored to my social inclinations. i agreed he was right. i added that i was looking forward to seeing my grandmother, being out of the heat and away from the piles of garbagbe and katrina conversations. so i sucked it up and went to my gate.

at the gate my dread did not subside. nay, it mounted, to the point where i convinced myself i was having a premonition of disaster, and it was time to turn around right now. so when they asked for volunteers to give up their seats for an overbooked flight, i volunteered gladly. i stood around the desk with other volunteers, plus people hoping for standby, waiting for my Free Ticket.

a perfectly nice and normal-seeming guy was there and said, "oh, thank you so much! i was really hoping i'd be able to get this flight." and we chatted, he's from philly, has a dog, blah blah blah. then he tells me about some lawsuit where high school athletes sued to be able to pray. the ruling said they could pray, but they couldn't say "jesus christ." could i believe that? what was this country, founded on christian principles, coming to?!

so. i loathe and abhor organized religion. i believe it has made far, far, far more people unhappy than it has happy. i believe it is a way for people to hide behind morality and therefore not act ethically, i.e., have to make decisions that acknowledge anyone lives outside your own mind. i think it's the kind of institution that lets people say they're being selfless when they are really so selfish that the most important thing to them is their own conscience. i think organized religion has underwritten all of history's tragedies. i think organized religion is deeply, festeringly hypocritical. that said, my memory of religious upbringing includes memories of being taught that jesus was a totally nice and smart guy, who wanted people to start treating each other nicely and with honor and respect, no matter what. i also was under the impression that he was for eating, and against judgement.

also. i happen to think that, tree-hugging, latte-drinking, gay-marrying, godless, superficial, secular, radical liberal, commie politics aside for one moment, i think that this country has veered widely from its original ideals. or two ideals in particular: that every citizen should be given a fair chance, and that people should have more rights, not less rights. i think that these ideals have systematically been chiselled away to the point of fracture.

anyway. when this guy said this, there was no way i was going to take that lying down. so i said, well, i don't know, i thought the whole point was that religion wasn't supposed to matter, even though all those founding father-types were themselves from a christian tradition.

and he said, no, no. we are a christian country. look at the constitution then he said something about people who would rather be on welfare than work. he said it convincingly enough that it sounded like he knew this from experience. so i asked him, "really? did you ask someone on welfare and they told you that?"

and then i said jesus was a socialist, and that he worried about people being able to eat. and this guy rolled his eyes and said no, jesus would want people to work to eat. and i said, no, what about the mighty being brought low and the lowly being raised up? and he said that was only in heaven. and i said what about jesus hanging out with lepers and prostitutes and not judging people?

and he said, do you believe jesus is almighty god? and i blinked several times and said, probably unconvincingly, ok, yeah. and then he had some cock-and bull story about how if jesus is god then people couldn't be on welfare. and i said, please just tell me whey the primary instinct is "judge," not "give." and he wouldn't answer. but he kept citing the new testament book of thessalonians, so when i got home i looked it up. he was referring to second thessalonians 3:10-"for even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat."

ok, fair enough. but, oh original document man, the bible says a lot of things. one can also find verses condoning slavery, making sure you keep women separate when their menstruating, etc., etc. just now, upon just having read first and second thessalonians (they're very short), i discern that this is one of your more judgey and directive-type chapters. but this asshole who claims to want to stick to authorial intention in matters constitutional, like others of his ilk, nevertheless failed to quote at me the verse immediately following (i.e., verse 11): "For we hear that there are some that walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies."

"busybodies," first of all, is a hilarious thing to read in the bible. but second, doesn't this mean that middle management is the problem? and people like him, who are busybodying their way into my conversational space in a public place? in other words, this doesn't seem to be aimed at his fantasy of a drug-addict pregnant single mom who digs newspapers out of the garbage just to burn the Help Wanted sections. is she a busybody? i wouldn't have thought so. the verse actually seems to be aimed at, well, him. also, by the way, since when, i beseech you, do people get what they deserve? never. never, ever, ever ever, ever ever ever. (how many totally incompetent people do you see succeed? i'd bet a lot. how many find minds are crushed early on by school systems that don't have enough money for books or teachers? lots and lots and lots. fucking "deserve." like life is a bank or a computer. input=output is stupid.)

btw, first thessalonians also says you should have as many babies as possible (4:10), and that you should "prove all things" (5:21), which this dickbag was conveniently ignoring. i hate you, airport man. i hate you so very very very much, and everything you stand for. i hate your conveniently marshalled and forgotten fidelity to Text. i hate that you blamed people who lost things in katrina for having bought homes below sea level. (why the fuck do you still live where you're from, preacher?) i hate that he thinks because he was accidentlly born white and a man and in good health in the u.s. that he somehow "deserves" something. blah.

lesson #2: don't talk to strangers.