Thursday, June 01, 2006

Facing your (i.e., my) hideous sentence composition

Some of the changes I am embarrassed to have to make as i do the final final edits of the disssertation:

"First hand narratives are also contributive causes also contribute to a mountaineer's fame."

I mean, "contributive causes"?? please. elizabeth.

". . .sound bites that producewhat is still testified to as testify to extreme personal experience."

again, with the pleonasm. (i just learned this word from david foster wallace's "authority and american usage," where he uses it to describe, of all things, academic writing. oh.)

"it is the politics of individual choice and freedom that subsume the life of the climber"

this kind of construction (the original) strikes me as both self-aggrandizing and self-undercutting. like i'm some kind of martyr.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

ah--pleonasm. Love it. And I can almost feel the cathartic effect of the editing. Ahhhhh.

But just because DFW calls Updike an asshole doesn't mean that your writing style (whatever that means) channels your personality. That would be a little narcissistic, dontchya think?

And besides, in other milieux (jokes, and even blogging) your delivery is quite pithy. I'm just saying.

d!

Elizabeth said...

shucks, thanks. me not like many words.

but DFW calls the character, who happens to be el ot like Updike, not Updike himself, an asshole. so in a way you are confirming that one's writing style doeschannel one's personality! ah!!

Anonymous said...

ha! that's what i get for not reading the dfw piece, but then citing it. i wonder what the word is for that?

maybe it's asshole.