1. first, if i were an academic fella, i would develop a thing, a gimmick. this would take the form of a manner of dress, such as only always wearing green; or a habit, such as rolling my own interestingly-scented cigarettes; or it could be a hobby like bonsai gardening. but it would have to be odd, and i would have to know many obscure things and/or be really particular about how it happened.
2. then, i would never respond to 20% of the emails sent to me, and not show up to about 20% of the meetings or conferences where i was expected. i would never offer explanation for any of this. the exception here is that, should a disagreement break out over a listserv about an abstract (NOT practical) matter, i would quickly, frequently and decisively respond with haughty and schooling emails to the group.
3. then, i would completely screw up every task assigned to me that required anything resembling organizational skills. i would never be asked again to do anything.
4. then, i would screw graduate students who were very impressed by all of this because it made me seem obviously really smart and important.
5. i would develop elaborate theories with the hidden goal of assuring myself that i am not a dreary cliché.
6. repeat as needed.
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*nothing's happened and/or i'm not mad at anyone or thinking of anyone in particular. but i am a collector of anecdotes!
**as it turns out, someone i knew in grad school would call me, behind my back, a "man-woman." relatedly, i found this person to be a treacherously stupid bitch. but maybe she was onto something and i can try some of these out?
4 comments:
Next time, put asterisk #1 at the beginning of the post so that I don't melt into a puddle of self-loathing self-awareness.
As for asterisk #2, I wish we were back in graduate school drinking some booze so I could get the real dirt on this. I think I'm more ashamed that your description doesn't allow me to pinpoint the culprit...
you need not worry about appearing as if you're pointing at anyone in particular. many of us "gals" can recognize someone (many) figures in your list.
in some ways, i may fulfill some of these roles, but i wear flower pins @ my lapel, pearls, and girly accessories (usually with jeans and black -- pretty much my uniform) as a way of confusing the perception that i'm not performing my gender appropriately (very important in Utah, so it's basic rhetorical awareness of my sitch). the combination, i think, destabilizes people to the point of curiosity, so they're compelled to hear me. and that's. kinda fun :)
i gave a talk at WPA a few years ago about some of this. it was shortly after i'd been given the boot from my WPA role for, um, helping adjuncts get $ to attend C's (the money came from the female VPAA who, unbeknownst to me had taken the money from our very macho Dean, who had earlier refused my proposal. oops).
anyhow, my talk focused upon this *actual* sort of reform camp called "Bully Broads." companies pay up to $20,000 to send an, um, aggressive (i.e., confident and passionate) woman to learn things like "the 4 P's" (pink, pearls, pumps, and perfume), and, how to feel okay (confident even!) about crying at meetings because it shows your vulnerability and "femininity." ha.
too long of a post. sorry, but . . . you touched a chord.
aw, topspun. i was counting on people going to the footnotes beforehand. i bet you could make yourself feel better by remembering people who are even *more* guilty? and the other, well, there's not much dirt, but i wish we were back in graduate school drinking some booze for many reasons.
blk: sheesh. yikes.
i know. ick.
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