i love a good talk

i think that one of the biggest perks of this here profession is knowing about and being able to go to talks. job talks, invited lecturers, conferences, etc. in fact, that kind of thing might be one big point of attraction for me to the profession in the first place. in the past year or so i've been to talks on topics in a broad range, from the composition of the universe to faust. love.

when talks are good, you get to learn something you didn't know much about (but about which you know enough to keep up), build some new neural pathways, see someone perform something they've worked hard on and are experts on, and mingle in the play of ideas for a bit, and pretend you don't have dreary paperwork or meetings or whatever. for a nerd such as me, it is a lot like that pit at amusement parks full of balls for kids to play in. only the balls are ideas and claims. i just really, really love such occasions, and feel like This Is What It's All About.

also, i have noticed that i almost always ask a question. when i was a graduate student i never ever raised my hand at the end, out of fear certainly, but also i think because i was always concentrating so hard on either getting it right or figuring out how to criticize it that i wasn't letting myself be curious. but now? whether it's a new sense of fatalism, or increasing maturity as a scholar, or knowing that this is really the best part of the job and i should relish it as much as possible, i don't know--but i almost always dive in from the beginning and want to know something at the end. and for some reason, i don't really care about looking stupid or critiquing or anything; i just want to know.

and god, what a great thing it would be to foster this kind of curiosity in students. that's part of my own personal dream of education. now i understand much better the grad professor* who told us in his seminar: just write something about something that makes sense to you and that you can make something out of.** you just desperately want your students to care about anything enough to pursue with gusto and curiosity and willingness to notice new things.



*an extremely excellent and astonishingly brilliant one, btw. not only because he knew a lot of stuff and said a lot of interesting things, but because being in the room with him talking actually made you smarter. no kidding.

**this is an oblique reference to the scene in when harry met sally where they're playing pictionary, and bruno kirby's (RIP) character implores his wife with whom there is marital tension, "just draw SOMETHING that looks like ANYTHING!!"