Saturday, January 10, 2009
PSA
public nose-pickers of the world: the rest of us can see you doing what you are doing. you may think you are invisible for some reason--maybe you have low self-esteem or maybe you think you transcend the earth, for example--but actually you are quite visible and material. also, this PSA is not to inform you that what you are doing is disgusting, although it is. rather, this PSA is to inform you that your public nose-picking is doing something far worse than grossing people out. it is making you seem pathetic, and as though you have no self-respect. a little vanity is not necessarily a bad thing. many of us struggle with self-esteem and our place in the world, it is true, but you must learn to act a bit more as if you like yourself and care what people think of you, and actual self-respect might even follow. if in fact you are the sort who thinks he is somehow metaphorically or culturally invisible and also, relatedly, superior to most people you encounter, you should know that picking your nose in public utterly betrays that sense you have of yourself, and renders you specific and inferior. we can't usually control what people think, so please believe me when i say that we should all take advantage of the few times we can.
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3 comments:
What about in your car? Is that "public"? 'cuz, yaknow, it's kinda private, right?
thanks in advance for clearing this up. cheers.
Or what about itching? I itch A LOT, especially in this winter-dry air. I don't pick, because I'd rather cover one nostril w/a finger, one at a time, and blow hard, and then just netipot the shit outta those holes. I realize this isn't necessarily considered sexy, but I've often thought that the way I itch IS. I figured that whenever I do it, people are thinking, check out the chick with the guts to itch freely in public, she must be terribly at home in her skin, hence quite compelling. Or? And if "no" - could you also post something on public open-mouthed burping, crotch-scratching, g-string realigning, and tooth-picking? Maybe also that old aesthetic saw about putting on lipstick after a meal if you would.
oh betsy, betsy, betsy.
anon: i am with you on itching. if you are a chick, yes indeed people are very compelled by how confident and comfortable you are when you itch anywhere. as for the list, they're all bad, bad, bad, except of course crotch-scratching, which falls under "itching," which is a very good thing to do as a woman, see above. and discretely applying lipstick after a meal i have gathered is actually one of the few public cosmetic applications that is permissible!! (this last is for realsies)
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