i have loved you so. although i am the poorest person there and have nothing to talk about with most other members, you have made my life better in so very many ways. i learned to spin and do pilates within your walls. your new pool is so awesome, i am really going to miss it. and you big luxurious locker rooms with lots of towels and supplies have been a dream. not to mention my many happy hours on elliptical trainers and step machines watching "millionaire matchmaker" and "real housewives" on my own personal tv. you are THE BEST!
ever yours,
elizabeth
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dear new pilates teacher,
admittedly, the other yoga and pilates teachers are really really good and have been there for ages, and admittedly people don't like change and have trouble adjusting to new routines. however, it does not seem like you have the same human body with the regular parts that the rest of us do, and neither do you understand integers (1, 2, 3), or "right" and "left" in the traditional manner. wtf?
wtf,
elizabeth
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dear mean and stupid bitch who thinks she owns the place,
your feet stink--REALLY BAD.
hope this helps,
elizabeth
1 comment:
Dear Iyengar Yoga Teacher,
You are a really great yogini, and you study with Iyengar every single year, and you taught me some amazingly precise yoga moves. But you also reminded me to feel terrible about myself all the time because you tell everyone in your classes that they aren't very good at yoga. Guess what? We know that. That's why we are in a yoga class. To spite you, I call the downward facing dog the deputy dog every single time I do it. Yeah, hurts, doesn't it?
Namaste, beyotch! Midmodern Scholar
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