dear oreo the neighborhood cat,
you are a very very bad kitty. i saw you spraying the neighbors' bushes. i know it was you that attacked my cat levon. you sit outside and taunt my cats and dogs from your perch on the fence. you've crushed or eaten many of our garden plants. the other day i almost ran you over on purpose. one of these days i'm going to catch you and tie a rubber band around your little kitty balls because you should have been neutered a long time ago.
-elizabeth
p.s. everyone else in the neighborhood hates you, too. especially the other cats.
dear george clooney,
i love you so much. i know that you would love me too if only we had the chance to meet.
love,
elizabeth
dear maebe,
i know you ate my foam ear plugs because i saw them in your poop when i picked it up from the neighbors' lawn on our walk. quit eating random things around the house!!
sincerely,
elizabeth
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2 comments:
Dear Elizabeth-
Levon was asking for it. What with him shaking that oversized caboose all over the neighborhood. Like he's somebody. I mean, who wouldn't take a bite out of that thing?
As for your scrutiny of your dog's poop, I think I speak for alle non-human animal kingdoms when I say: that's gross.
Oreo (aka, Senor Kitty von Badass)
re:clooney
a friend recently was on a studio tour of some sort through someone who knew someone which overall is not that exciting a story - EXCEPT - that coinidentally mr. g.clooney was playing basketball with a couple guys on a random set. her report is. he is as magnificent (and much much more) in real life as we all dream him to be.
ps. oreo sounds like a big meanie
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