to all you engineering students at my grad alma mater (a big state research school) to whom i taught technical writing, i know we had a few rough times. my class was required, and so you resented it from the start. you all look a lot alike, and while i'm sure your mothers love you and see you as individuals, such was not always the case for me. we did have a few good times, though, didn't we?
for your assignment to write technical instructions, many, even most, of you wrote your paper about How to Change a Flat Tire. probably most of you got a B+. i might have sighed audibly as i graded the fortieth or so such paper.
but you know what? today I CHANGED A FLAT TIRE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. and i used the technical instructions in my car's manual. and they looked a lot like the instructions you handed in--though without misspellings and with much more usable illustrations, i have to say. but i wouldn't have been able to do it as easily as i did (20 minutes from opening the manual to driving away) if i hadn't already read acres of your generic, hackneyed and half-assed papers. i hope you all found jobs that you like. i'm sure you all did, through your various fraternity connections. even though you're against affirmative action, illogically. oh, let's not start that again.
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8 comments:
Dear Professor,
Your welcome!
Sincerely,
Matt, Nate, Ryan, Brian, Brendan, Brandon and Josh.
ps - We're all working at FEMA now! (Except for Brandon, whose still following Rusted Root on tour.)
Oh, man, is this hilarious. Congrats! I am certainly glad to know that boys named matt-nate-ryan-brian-etc. did well for themselves. And I bet at FEMA they can even wear baseball hats (that say FEMA of course), so that slouchy, hat-wearing, polo shirt frat boy look still works at the office, too.
dear tire-slashing, rear window breaking types in my old neighborhood,
I never properly thanked you for making me able to change tires quickly and efficiently. I got really good at jumping on my short tire-iron to undo pneumatically tightened lug nuts, and I will never stand helplessly on the street corner waiting for some heroic gentleman to come save me (not that I would have done this anyway). You were always kind enough to slash only one tire at a time, so it was always possible for me to simply put on the spare and drive to the shop. Plus, you allowed me to learn fascinating details like the fact that tire punctures from driving over sharp objects can be repaired, while slashings require a totally new, and rather expensive, tire because the pressure on the side of a tire is fiercer than that on the bottom. You made a difference in my life. Thanks.
c
ha... ! i am still really gratefull matt-nate-ryan-brian-brendan-brandon-and-josh took your class, tire changing assistance notwithstanding.
boys: figures.
caraf: i didn't think of it, but the uniform *is* convenient for those fellas!
c...: huh!
cuz: as the engineer who can actually write that you are, I BET.
now I know that if I ever teach Tech Writing I will never allow "Changing a Flat Tire" as a topic
Great post! Now I know why my dad (himself an engineer) made all of us kids, mostly girls, change all four tires of our family van in under 30 minutes before we could take our driver's test. Perhaps he too, wrote the 1946 version of the tire changing demonstration speech during his years at a large research university.
ps. He also made us; map our routes, change the oil, the spark plugs, and check and fill all of the fluids as well. If we could do that, he figured we could probably drive the thing - and actually get home again.
speak(er): i hope i never am trapped under extreme physical and mental duress? but if i ever am? i hope i am with you.
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