overheard

levon: francis, listen. as your friend, your brother, i have to tell you something. you stink.

francis: what? what are you talking about?

levon: well, you know how you spend like half an hour in the litter box? it seems like you think you're trying really hard to clean up and be fastidious, but really what you're doing is just moving the litter around, and it sticks in your fur sometimes.

francis: oh, god, i'm so embarrassed. thanks for telling me, i guess.

levon: you're welcome.

francis: levon? do you think elizabeth will get tenure?

levon: dude, that's not for like 4 or 5 years.

francis: i know, but i'm kind of worried. she watches a lot of TV. and we've been eating a lot better since she got this job, and i'm afraid of that delicious food going away.

levon: hmmmm, well, if she doesn't get tenure, maybe she'll die of depression and then we can survive for a while on her corpse?

francis: huh, that wasn't exactly the answer i expected, but that's a good point. though probably chad will be around and stuff----?

levon: dude, it'll be murder-suicide. and that's two corpses!

francis: you always look on the bright side, levon. i love you.