did you know. . .?

. . .that you can take a baby to a grocery store? it's true! because even though you are spazzing out and have never done it before, the baby is part of your life and you go to the grocery store all the time, plus if you think about it, you've seen babies in the grocery store before. so, go for it! he might even fall asleep in his car seat-in-the-cart setup you've figured out. plus, if you've got large silver hoop earrings in (see below), people will do the math, realize you just had a baby, and tell you that you look great!

. . .that everything is getting crappier? to wit: the clothes i bought from j. crew in the 1990s are still in solid shape (even if pret-ty unfashionable), whereas the ones i bought from j. crew, say, five years ago, are falling apart.

. . .that large silver hoop earrings will inspire people to tell you that you look great during times that it would be reasonable to expect otherwise? it's true. i only have experience with this during and after pregnancy, but i suspect they will work in other situations too. they make your face look longer and thinner, and they make it look like you are wearing that hoodie on purpose.

. . .that a good night's sleep, a decent bowel movement, and several glasses of water all within a 24 hour period can cure what ails you: physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually? slap on some large silver hoop earrings and you can really call it a day.