perspective is everything

• i enjoyed living in the ROC quite a bit, mostly for the friends i had there but also for its truly outstanding grocery store. however, i always also regularly, lovingly made fun of it as kind of a two-bit town that thought it was more than it really is--maybe a little puffed up. now, however, i live in what feels like a remote rural area and while i have good friends here too, there are no outstanding grocery stores (to say the least), and the area is so poor it can't even support a real Gap store. (it's not really puffed up though, and seems to have a firm grip on its place in the world, for better or worse.) along with the lack of general amenities, i'm having a hard time finding a place to get my hair cut. and recently lo, i found a stylist with glowing reviews online, and the profile of her through her salon website brags that she was trained at a salon & day spa in none other but the ROC. . .a salon and day spa that i used to roundly mock. and now? i'm impressed with her credentials and will surely be seeking her out soon.

• like many white middle-class people with leftist sympathies, a lot of cynicism, and an overestimation of my own street cred, i am a big fan of the show "the wire." while watching it (i've seen many of the seasons twice, but the whole series all the way through once), i am repeatedly struck at how racist it makes every other television show look, because of its subtle and complicated portrayal of race relations and of "black issues," but also because it just has a lot of really well drawn black characters from a wide range of walks of life and with a lot of different goals, experiences, talents, limitations, etc. in other words, it actually portrays african americans as--!!!--human. so now, like many white middle-class feminists with a keen interest in popular culture and time to watch award shows and trust certain TV critics, i have been watching the series "the good wife." and while i'm not so sure it measures up to "the wire" in terms of sophistication and complicated drama, it is very, very good. and for me, it is doing for women on TV what "the wire" did for african-americans. the women on the show--even though they are all rich and well dressed--have subtle psyches, conflicting goals within themselves, difficult choices to make, shades of gray moral situations, and impressive levels of competence. so it's making every other TV show look terribly misogynistic. oooohh, women can also be human??!!!

• you know? i think my last job asked me to be, and made me into, a person i am not. in the several months after i first moved from ROC to Whitesville to live with my spouse, it felt 1.) like i had been at sea and had to learn to walk on land again and 2.) like i had tons and tons and tons and tons of time. the second feeling was due to a lighter teaching load; a change to semesters from quarters; not having to drive at least once a month to see my spouse, or make time for him visiting me; being able to walk to work in ten minutes; and not having to call my spouse on the phone all the time to feel like we were in touch, among other things. the first feeling was due to a workplace culture with values reverse to those i have been trained to hold, and a sense (recently confirmed) that my contributions were not valued. even while i remained critical of the workplace, i nevertheless assumed there was also something wrong with me (see above comment about women and then for an antidote rent "the good wife"). now i see that when you can trust your footing and have space to breathe, you can be happier and have more confidence and self-respect. but guess what? i still find stuff to complain about!!