oh, the contradictions we must live with

this weekend is as good a weekend as any other to announce my feelings about religion. well, some of them. i happen to have a nature that disinclines me to believe in the supernatural, and a near-physical revulsion to piety. i also happen to have done the math, and tabulated that religion (organized religion of all sorts, that is) has caused more pain and suffering, world-historically, than, er, not-religion.

however. i was raised in a religious tradition (roman catholic), and i have religious friends and family, and i completely understand the need for ritual, history and community, and even the need for irrationality. so, i really don't care for the most part if other people have a religion they like to call their own. as the american i am who takes privacy for granted, i understand the ways in which people's personal decisions about their lives and beliefs feel separate from larger institutional movements and values. i respect people's space and choices.

however #2. the thing that will ultimately drive me stark, raving, apoplectically, droolingly insane are those people who call themselves christians* but who conveniently forget and leave out the fact that jesus helped people. and of course these people are legion. the ones who feel that just thinking in their own head about jesus' suffering makes them righteous. the ones who have contempt for the poor, personally and politically. the ones who think people should pull themselves up by their own bootstraps. the ones who think they "deserve" to be rich. the ones who think there is no such thing as the working poor. the ones who are self-satisfied because they unreflectively "feel" christian.

no doubt, this phenomenon is upon us as the result of a complicated historical network of systemic, theological, material/ideological and economic events. and there's a lot more to say about it, of course, beginning with the problematic fact that i feel free to judge some people's approach to religion and not others. but whew, back when i was in catholic high school and we were required to spend 2 hours a month serving food to poor people even as the school arranged to spend $11 million on a new football stadium and i realized it was all Total Bullshit, little did i know what kind of frustrated disillusionment i was really in for.

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*as this happens to be the tradition with which i am most familiar, it is the one i feel most strongly about. however, i bet you one million dollars if i was educated enough about others, i would have similar feelings about them.