levon: what?
francis: WHAT was THAT??!
levon: oh, that, my friend, was OUTSIDE.
francis: the same OUTSIDE i have heard about?
levon: yes, with the grass and the fresh air and the unsuspecting chipmunks, moles and mice!! that's the one!! god, i miss it.
francis: i thought it was terrible and frightening.
levon: is that why you hid in the neighbor's bushes and cried the entire time?
francis: i didn't know what else to do!!!!!
levon: well, you could have chased things with me and even pooped in real dirt.
francis: well, i couldn't find anything soft and there were no elizabeths.
levon: elizabeth lets you in, and then you get to see her inside!!! but you made her go out and around and crouch in the bushes trying to get you out while you cried and cried and cried.
francis: well, i wanted to be sure she really wanted me to come to her. levon, i have a question.
levon: yes?
francis: what the heck is elizabeth talking about when she says we are going to get raises or promotions?
levon: well, in a way we have jobs. households have economies, you know? and it's like, when she thinks we're contributing to the household economy, she thinks we should be rewarded.
francis: that's great!!!! what kinds of stuff can i do to help????
levon: well, i tried giving her mice and moles and stuff. because who doesn't like to eat?? but she seemed fairly unimpressed. so now i just try to look cute and make funny faces and show my chubby fuzzy tummy.
francis: i love that!! i can do that!! what is the reward??
levon: well, have you noticed the catnip-filled scratcher?
francis: i love catnip!!
levon: right, oh my god, me too.
francis: levon, do people say, "see you OUTSIDE"??
levon: um, sure. but we might never go OUTSIDE again. i think that was an accident. plus you didn't like it at all, remember? you cried in the bushes and stuff?
francis: see you OUTSIDE, levon!!!!!!
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