vindication, but not really

i won't ski; don't ask me.  downhill, that is.  as has happened throughout my life,* when i moved to the ROC, new people i met eyed me and decided i was "athletic."  then they asked me to participate in the popular sport among middle-class whiteys in the region which is downhill skiing.  which i will never, ever, ever, ever do.  the idea of being up high and going down at a rapid rate sounds like such a bad idea to me, i'm not just afraid of it, i'm afraid of being afraid of it.**  so when someone dies doing it, like oh say natasha richardson, i can't help but be a wee tiny bit vindicated because I KNEW it was dangerous and a really terrible idea in the first place.  if and when i am asked yet again to go downhill skiing, i can pull up the CNN headline and raise my eyebrows to say, seriously? 

however (and there's always a however), you know what kills a lot more people than skiing?  driving.  driving accidents are my favorite example of a statistical in-your-face about how fears are ideological expressions.  driving kills a lot more people than terrorists, a lot more people than guns, a lot more people than smoking and a *hell* of a lot more people than skiing.  and thus after patting myself on the back, as usual i am reminded of the fact that i'm still just stuck.***

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*my life story might be told as a series of anecdotes in which i let people down, athletically speaking (probably other ways, too).  yes, i am tall and strong and left-handed.  however, there exists zero relationship between my eyes and my hands, and i cannot balance or aim, i do not care about besting people in feats of speed or strength, and i have no sense of my body in space.  therefore, while i enjoy physical activity of all sorts--i go to yoga and pilates and lift weights and run (on my own or with dog or spouse or friend), etc., etc., there's a whole realm of sportiness with which i shan't have anything to do.

**word of advice?  whenever anyone states that they don't want to do something, or even that they don't like some kind of food or something, just accept them at their word and fucking DROP IT, already.

***E in the ROC's 100% sure totally true always already guarantee:  whenever you pat yourself on the back about something, if you don't immediately recognize the absurdity of your smugness, you will be punished.