pssst

i have questioned the blog's purpose now that my narcissism feels effectively met by facebook, even knowing that blogs are different things and allow different kinds of thoughts, etc. one thing i didn't count on, though, was how nice it is that not all of my facebook friends know i have a blog, so i can gossip about them here.

i mean my friends from grade school, many of whom i have not seen in over 20 years. i defriended two of them several months ago during a round of de-friending as preparation to close down my facebook account. i never did close it down and actually spent about a week recently being confusedly offended because i thought they defriended me (confused because what the F do i care about these people?), before i remembered what i had done.

since then, i've friended a couple of other people i've known since grade school but do not keep in touch with. one of them was an on again, off again close friend from about age 6 to about age 15. she always made me feel bad but i kept hanging out with her for some reason. it's only now, in retrospect, that i can see how terribly mismatched we were and i have no idea why i was such a glutton for punishment (slightly sarcastic: i'm looking at YOU, roman catholic church). anyway, in the game of life it would seem i am winning, according to petty generic measurements but also, i do believe, in terms of general happiness and wherewithal. but she keeps facebooking about jr. high skating parties (further evidence that i am winning because for her, jr. high was the peak of existence), to which she always wore cool clothes, and was good at roller skating, and had fellas to couple skate with (none of which applied to me). and a couple of women who were popular girls at the time are forming some kind of skating-party-loving facebook scrum and reminiscing together and i'm all, i don't care about your stupid fucking skating parties, ok?!

meanwhile, she has friended one of these guys i defriended a while ago. i had considered refriending him with a sheepish message about what i had done earlier, but then he went and made some racist jokes and some other icky comments. so refriend him i shan't!! in fact i'm glad i defriended him and wish i could do it again! and if this woman keeps up with her "what brand of beer are you?" quizzes and skating party reminiscing, i might just defriend her! TAKE THAT! defriending would feel so much more satisfying than merely knowing she has a shitty life, which upon deep reflection, i find that i do not care about at all one way or another.

thanks, blog. i knew you'd be there for me.